Where’s Our Empathy? Really?

January 12, 2012 By

This article, on Brazen Careerist, prompted this post: Are You That Oh-So-Annoying Guy in Your Office?

As much as these things are annoying, and some of them should just be common sense (cleaning up after yourself, etc.).

The rest of the article (I feel), is a bit discriminating. The fact that (we feel), we need to stop people from being themselves just to suit our needs, just proves how dead on ‘The Wall’ by Pink Floyd (for those who don’t know) was. We’re all expected to be this “cookie-cutter” employee in Corp America. Even our students are expected to “fit a certain mold” or they’re labeled with having ADD, ADHD, etc. And how has that benefited our society?

Why do we need to keep our personality outside of the office, outside of our school system, outside of any place where people can’t accept us for who we are?

Do I like a gossiper? No, but I let them know “Hey, that’s not my bag. Let’s chat about something else.”

Do I like it when people come into the office sick? It doesn’t really bother me, as I have a very strong immune system. And most companies only allow for so many days off. Maybe, said person, is having a tough time. Where’s our empathy? Maybe who you should be upset with, is your companies sick time policy.

“The Guy Who Acts Like a Wannabe Celeb.”

Really? That’s his personality, and this is discrimination. If you don’t like him, avoid him. I generally avoid them, but I don’t tell them they can’t be themselves at the office.

“The One-Upper.”

Maybe they’re not being competitive, but because of your upbringing/perspective, you think they are?

“The TMI Guy.”

Maybe he did try resolving it at home, but his partner is relentless. Maybe it is affecting his work-life, but maybe, he really can’t help it. Why not help him? Where’s our empathy?

“The Awful Emailer.”

I do agree that you don’t “Reply All” on a whim, and that you should keep your subject line, condensed and concise. Maybe a course on “Writing Effectively” can help? But as much as I find ”pink italic inspirational quotes in your signature block.” unattractive, I still feel that person should be allowed to express themselves this way. Ignore it, if you don’t like it. Like I do.  And I disagree with “(I trust I don’t even have to mention emoticons.)” I, on rare occasion, will throw this into an email. I feel it shows personality, which is generally absent, and assumed in most emails.

“The Antisocial Guy.”

I’ve worked with a lot of these guys, and I love them. They’re minds work so very differently than mine, and they pique my curiosity. (But I’ve always been the curious, social butterfly.) Even so, I let them be themselves. Why? Because they’re unique and beautiful, and usually very cerebral. They’re introverts (inside thinkers), and might even be shy. Let them socialize when they’re good and ready. And if they’re not, swing by and say “Hi.” smile or wave as you walk past. But never invade their space for too long. :)

Now, if I wanted to continue in the articles theme, I could say the following were forgotten:

  • The Complainer
  • The Whiner
  • The High Priest or Priestess

(I think you get the point. But if you don’t, what I mean is, we can nitpick every quirk out there.)

But instead, let’s remember empathy, and try to understand what that person might be going through, or how they were brought up, that makes/made them who they are today. Maybe even read up on Myers-Briggs, and help yourself understand those around you.

Now It’s Your Turn:

How do you feel about our cookie-cutter society?

Oh, and my Myers-Briggs Personality Type (MBTI) is ENTP. What’s your MBTI?

Filed Under: The Workplace Tagged With:
About Kat M Bee

I'm a gadget geek, lover of sci-fi, music, movies, a foodie, lover of languages, photographer, and wannabe world traveler. And yes, I really am a geek.

  • Miriam Pia

    I don’t think cookie cutters come in my shape, unless you can get it from a specialty shop but I may be wrong about myself because I tend to love the same blockbuster movies and happy home life and good sex life just like millions…actually tens of millions or hundreds of millions or even more people than that.

    • http://kmburck.com/ Kathy

      They don’t come in my shape either Miriam. Haha…and I’m as “average” as they come. But my quirks stop my from fitting in most molds, and I like that. :)

  • @Jayfoldsfive

    The author is pointing out that the reader should be more self aware not to be an annoyance to your coworkers not complaining about other people.   Reread it and let me know what you think.

    • http://kmburck.com/ Kathy

      I did read it twice, which is what prompted me to write. But I understand, and accept, that you might not agree with me. I never expect everyone to. ;)

  • Colin Kingsley

    Woah. This article, has, I think, a, lot of commas,.

    • http://kmburck.com/ Kathy

      Whoa! Haha…yes, I tend to be comma happy. ;)

  • http://marianlibrarian.com Marian Schembari

    You are clearly more evolved than the rest of us.

    • http://kmburck.com/ Kathy

      I wish I could attest to that, but sadly I’m obviously not. I’ve just learned to adapt. I bring my iPod, walk away, change my environment, etc. It’s the only way. We must adapt in today’s society.

      I’ve also watched people get hurt by things like this.Which reminds me how I felt when something hurt me, and I empathize.

      For example: There’s a little girl in the neighborhood that’s constantly making high-pitched, chirp-like sounds. At first I thought it was cute. Now after about a year of hearing this – everyday – it drives me batty! But how much damage would I cause her, if I went out there and yelled at her to please stop? Or asked her parents to “Please keep her quiet.”?

      Solution: I turn my music up, and close my slider when she “sings” her strange little songs. (And no they’re not songs by any means, just what I described earlier.)

      And do I get annoyed by others quirks? HELL YEAH! I just keep it to myself, because I’m well aware I have my own annoying quirks.

  • Chantale

    I do not believe that Kelly (aka cordelia) was saying that any of these people should be told they are as such. She was making light of these personality quirks and helping us look at our own. Kelly is a very positive and empathetic person, judging from the pieces I have read by her thus far.

    You mentioned you are a light person when someone told you to lighten up, but I think you may be faking that a bit. A light person would read the article and get the joking nature and not base an entire blog post on it.

    By the way, blog etiquette would denote that you need at minimum 75% originality in your post in order for it to truly be a meaningful and interesting piece. However, if copying another bloggers work to make your point is your bag, then blog on empathetic one.

    • http://kmburck.com/ Kathy

      Thank you for your input Chantale. But I’m not lashing out at anyone (Kelly or otherwise). I’m simply showing another side of how that article can be taken. You and everyone have the right to your opinion.

      Thank you for commenting! :)

  • Ryan the Koala

    So many comments come to mind, but to summarize all of these thoughts, you’re a dumbshit.  You’re the kind of idiot who thinks everyone deserves a participation trophy, and that everyone is their own special person, like a snowflake… and you’re wrong.  Very, very wrong.

    You mention about these personality types of people have feelings too.  Well, guess what… EVERYONE has feelings.  The difference is that some of us choose to go about our work day in a professional way, like we should, and some people decide to act like idiots.

    And what about empathy?  Fuck empathy.  I come to work to work, and get my job done.  I don’t show up to socialize or to make friends.  Why?  BECAUSE IT’S WORK.  I don’t want people wasting my time, or in a team environment, wasting EVERYONE’S time because they don’t know how to act.

    And for Christ’s sake, lay off the commas.  Reading your article made me wonder if you owed money to guy who has stock in commas.

    • http://kmburck.com/ Kathy

      Hey Ryan (if that’s your real name),
      Thanks for your opinion, and assumptions. (Look! Another comma!)I never “make friends” at work. I am friendly, and I do socialize. But I keep my extracurricular activities separate from my office-mates, as well. It’s never been good practice to mix business and personal. (Even more commas!)

      And I had no idea that EVERYONE had feelings! Thanks for the update! I’m surprised you even care that people have feelings (since you don’t give a fuck about empathy). I also empathize with anyone that reports to you now, and in the future.

      Oh yeah, and thanks again for your opinion! :)

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